Exclusive: Kelis On Finding Freedom In Farming, The Power Of Her “No,” And Prioritizing What Feels Good Always
Singer, songwriter, and certified chef Kelis has served us everything we need for more than two decades.
From electrifying performances to timeless classics, the “Milkshake” singer is a true pop icon and one of music’s most beloved rebels. While some artists clamor for acceptance and cling desperately to the need to remain relevant, Kelis has always seemed to embrace the inevitability of being misunderstood. Perhaps what has always brought us to her table is that irreverence, as it has never appeared to be a performance of rebellion but rather proof of the courage it takes to show up in the fullness of yourself time and time again.
In her latest chapter, as farmer and owner of the organic wellness and food brand Bounty and Full, Kelis is once again challenging the status quo. From proving that farming can be sexy with her “farm fashion” check-ins to keeping it real about everything from dairy consumption (she says yes to milk, by the way!) to how we should season our cultural food favorites, the 44-year-old mother of two is as magnetic, daring and liberated as ever. And she still doesn’t care how anyone feels about it.
xoNecole caught up with Kelis to talk about the significance of Black people owning and farming the land we once tilled, how she uses the power of saying “no” in her life, and her latest partnership with Lactaid that gives everyone the opportunity to enjoy real dairy this holiday season.
xoNecole: Oftentimes, people focus on your life as a Black woman farmer from the aspect of seeing a successful artist move into a new path in life, but there is something very revolutionary about returning to the land and focusing on food, considering how both have been weaponized against us throughout the years.
Kelis: Totally.It is my rebellion. It is my freedom. It is my control. It is my response to everything else that’s happening in the world. You’re able to control what you eat, and as Black people, as women, or just as marginalized communities, we have to start to take control back for ourselves. That’s the most important thing. I also think that as farming goes, it somehow got branded as unattractive or not sexy, but I think the sexiest thing you can do is own your own land and create your own destiny. To me, that’s power.
That’s what I want my children to take from this. That’s how I feel when I get up every morning. It’s hard work, but I love every second of it because I know I am living a life that’s good and that wasn’t given to me. No one wants this for us, this is something we have to take for ourselves.
“I think the sexiest thing you can do is own your own land and create your own destiny. To me, that’s power.”
xoN: Being Black women, our “noes” are often what save us more so than what we say “yes” to. You’re someone who’s always rebelled against expectations and rules. How has the price and power of “no” played out in your career as well as in this new chapter of your life?
Kelis: I am definitely comfortable saying “no” (laughs). I know what matters to me. I know what I want to matter to my children. And I know what I want them to see me doing. When I say “no” for something, it’s never about anyone else, it’s always about what’s best for me and mine. I agree most of our control comes from the power of “no.” I think by virtue of no one even asking us before, us being able to put our foot down and say “no, thank you” is fine. It’s important, and it is empowering. On the flip side, when I do say “yes,” that has a lot of power as well. Because I obviously don’t say “yes” to everything.
Your voice then has weight to it because you’re a person of character. Sometimes that thing is just not for me and it doesn’t feel good for who I am. I am never going to try to fit myself into someone else’s cape. This is what I look, this is how I feel, this is what I sound like, this is what I’m willing to do.
xoN: You are a trendsetter, and that requires so much courage and belief in yourself. How have you used that same fire you infused into life as a musician into this new chapter in your life?
Kelis: It’s sort of just my personality. I’m never looking for anyone’s validation. For me to make music, or be a chef, or start my company Bounty & Full, I want things that are good, but it’s important that they feel good to me. As a result of that, it can be a blessing to someone else. I genuinely care about what I do, so it’s going to be good. I put my name on everything that I do because I know it’s my best. I care, and I do enough research, and I’ve seen enough. I can see when something can be better.
Wanting to start a farm and start a business, I want it to be great. Once I put it out there, I’m not worried about what anyone else thinks about it. I know it’s good, and if you decide not to participate, then that’s your choice. But it won’t be because it’s not good. I don’t walk around thinking I am going to be rebellious or different; I just do what I’m doing, and it’s usually just not what everyone else is doing.
“I don’t walk around thinking I am going to be rebellious or different; I just do what I am doing, and it’s usually just not what everyone is doing.”
xoN: Let’s talk food. It’s the holiday season, and everyone’s stressed over what to make, how to fit into all the different dietary restrictions. What are the things that we should be making sure to say yes to on our holiday tables this season?
Kelis: Every family has their things. For me, cornbread. Everyone loves my cornbread and always requests it. My son is going to want mac and cheese. But I do believe that gravy is the most important thing on the table. Every family eats a certain way, but I think ingredients are the most important thing. No matter what you do, if you’re using good ingredients, it’s going to shine through. People will feel good about it.
xoN: Are there any Kelis-approved or disapproved holiday favorites?
Kelis: I think canned cranberry sauce should be banned.
xoN: Really? People love the canned cranberry sauce!
Kelis: It’s because they don’t know anything else. If you have actual cranberries and then someone gives you that, you’re, like ‘What is this disaster you’ve given me?’. It should be removed eternally, I hate it. Everything else is about personal preference. But I do think milk is a thing. I’m not really into substitutes.
If you don’t eat something, that’s fine, but I don’t think you should have an imitation of it. If you’re a vegetarian or a vegan, that’s totally fine, but I don’t like the fake meats, that’s weird to me.
xoN: That goes back to the fresh ingredients.
Kelis: That’s exactly it. To me, it’s very counterintuitive. I have no problem cooking vegan or eating vegan. But I want it to be good and healthy and right. Rather than trying to make it taste like something that you should just actually eat, if you want it. To me, you want the least amount of manhandling possible. So, anything that’s overprocessed is not the answer at all.
xoN: You’ve collaborated with Lactaid this year in a bit of a “wink wink” to your hit song “Milkshake,” so what brought you to want to partner with the company for the Eggnog and Ice Cream milkshake?
Kelis: A few things. Like we talked earlier about saying “no,” initially, I didn’t think that the partnership was something I wanted to do. I didn’t really know anything about Lactaid, and I didn’t look into it. But then I said ‘before I say “no,” let me do some research.’ I didn’t know that Lactaid was actually milk. I don’t know what I thought it was, but I had no clue that it was actually farm-fresh milk. The first thing that occurred to me was that I do so much food research all the time, and if I didn’t know that, then there are tons of people who must not know as well.
I felt that there needed to be more conversation about that. I think that people who like milk should drink milk. I’m not on a crusade for that, but it’s my belief. So with this collaboration, we’re just telling people ‘this is real milk; you can enjoy it and love it.’
That was the driving force for me.
Featured image by Michael Simon
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