Scheana Shay Cries Over Feeling Like Ariana Madix 'Dismisses' Her Feelings

Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images; ABC/Andrew Eccles

Scheana Shay opened up about not always feeling supported by Ariana Madix.

During a new episode of Vanderpump Rules on Tuesday, March 5, Scheana, 38, got emotional after a fan photo of her next to Tom Sandoval circulated online in the aftermath of his cheating scandal with Rachel “Raquel” Leviss. As a result, Scheana received hate on social media for seemingly befriending Sandoval, 41, after he was unfaithful to Ariana, 38.

When Lala Kent asked whether Ariana defended Scheana from the online vitriol, Scheana fired back, “No. Of course not.”

“When I try to talk to Ariana and say that I am struggling, she either dismisses how I feel or tells me I shouldn’t feel this way because [Sandoval] is a bad person,” Scheana explained. “It is just like, ‘I know but I am telling you that I am struggling.’”

Related: Ariana Madix and Scheana Shay’s Friendship Over the Years

Scheana Shay and Ariana Madix’s tight friendship has been documented on Vanderpump Rules for years. After making guest appearances on the first two seasons of the Bravo reality series, Madix became a main cast member in 2015. From the beginning, Shay’s bond with Madix served as a contrast to her tumultuous relationships with fellow SUR […]

Lala, 33, reminded Scheana that her feelings are “absolutely valid,” adding, “Ariana is doing just fine. She is booking everything under the sun. She is having her moment and she deserves that.”

News broke in March 2023 about Sandoval and Ariana calling it quits due to his infidelity. Ariana received an outpouring of public support following her breakup, which included joining season 32 of Dancing With the Stars, booking the role of Roxie Hart on Broadway’s Chicago and releasing a new cocktail book titled Single AF Cocktails.

Scheana maintained during Tuesday’s episode that she was “so happy” for Ariana’s success.

“Even her getting Dancing With the Stars, she knew how bad I wanted that. And I told her, ‘I am so genuinely happy for you. I will be there every f—king Monday that you want me there,’” she continued. “She does deserve everything she is getting right now and I am so happy for her that she did no go down a dark spiral. I just am hurting still.”

Scheana concluded: “Why can I never have one moment where it can be about me? I am hurt. I lost a very, very dear friend. I am struggling with that. But I am not allowed to feel anything because it is only about Ariana. I am tired.”

In a confessional, Lala put Ariana on blast for allegedly not supporting Scheana. “It is time for Ariana to pull her head out of her own ass. She needs to come back to reality and remember who her friends are and what they have done [for] her,” Lala told cameras before Ariana released a public statement in Scheana’s defense. “Scheana has been ride or die for Ariana since Day 1 and it is time for Ariana to return the favor.”

The Vanderpump Rules cast found themselves divided in the wake of Scandoval. Initially, Sandoval was on the outs with everyone except Tom Schwartz. While filming season 11, however, he started to make progress with costars James Kennedy, Brock Davies and Lala.

Related: Meet Ariana Madix’s Inner Circle

There for her. Ariana Madix has a tight-knit inner circle that has always had her back over the years. The Vanderpump Rules star previously gushed about her loved ones, writing via Instagram in August 2022: “I never posted anything for my birthday months ago and now it’s wild to look at these photos because so […]

Scheana, however, was apprehensive about rekindling her friendship with Sandoval. She pointed out multiple times that her loyalty to Ariana prevented her from being able to forgive Sandoval for his decisions.

“I know I need to let go of the hate — it is not good for me. But I am so mad at you still. I don’t know you. I know who you are to me, but what you did to her [was not OK],” Scheana told Sandoval earlier in the episode. “I don’t know if I need to [understand your motives].”

After speaking with Sandoval, Scheana texted Ariana with an update, which read, “This morning has been so hard emotionally for me. We had to do this partner meditation thing and they made me pair w Sandoval and I was so uncomfortable and I just sobbed and I don’t feel OK. I just want to tell you I love you. I will always have your back. No matter what.”

Scheana later called Ariana and elaborated on feeling divided.

“We are not what we used to be. We never will be. It was just really heavy,” she told Ariana about how she received a “genuine apology” from Sandoval during the meditation. “You know how close we were and it was just a really heavy loss for me. I have been struggling with that.”

Scheana told Ariana she couldn’t “keep hating” Sandoval for her, saying, “I am mad that he did all this because I miss him. I miss my friend.”

Related: Who Remained Tom Sandoval’s Friend After His Affair? Meet His Inner Circle

Tom Sandoval‘s friend group was in for a shakeup after his cheating scandal. Sandoval and his now-ex-girlfriend Ariana Madix had many of the same friends before his affair with their Vanderpump Rules costar Rachel “Raquel” Leviss made headlines. After Sandoval and Madix split in March 2023 due to his infidelity, most of their close pals […]

In response, Ariana showed support for Scheana’s mixed emotions. “As far as healing goes, I want that for you. But you putting yourself in a position to be friends with somebody who would do this to you is not someone I want you to be friends with. For you,” she told Scheana. “I don’t think he gave a s—t about your friendship.”

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Ariana admitted to Katie Maloney that she wasn’t thrilled to hear Scheana preparing to start fresh with Sandoval. She elaborated in a confessional on how that could affect her friendship with Scheana, who she has been close to since before Vanderpump Rules premiered in 2013.

“It is being made out to be this big dramatic moment but it is literally me just continuing on the path I am on,” Ariana detailed. “I have made it very clear that it doesn’t work for me to have mutual friends with Tom Sandoval because I don’t want him to have access to me. I am not giving any ultimatums and I am not telling anybody what to do. But I will be putting my time and energy into friendships where I feel safe.”

Season 11 of Vanderpump Rules airs on Bravo Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET and is available to stream on Peacock the next day.

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